3 years had passed...
Who have ever taught that a heartbreak could change a girl's perspective? A heartbreak could change how a girl behave? How a heartbreak lead to a fresh new life of a stupid 17 years old girl?
She, never imagined how her life would be. She had once before taught that she ruined her life. Hopeless and have nothing at all. Losing her friends one by one, losing everyone's trust and losing herself. How stupid she can be before this.
Going through matriculation alone, for a year, where I start to stay away from everyone. Making less friend that I could ever made, rebel and start to not studying anything. Yet, He still give a chance where I still could make it (even the result was so-so, duhh). And glad that my squad were there when I need them the most. Maiza, who were always be there either when I was sick or sad. Yayan, who were always inspired me with her inspiring words that made me feel better (still remember the shawl and little inspired note that she gave to me).
After finished the matriculation, I tried to enter medical institution where that I started to realize that my passion was to be a doctor. I really want to be a surgeon, but it was a little too late where I couldn't make through any interview despite of the public fright that I was suffering from. Then only I accept to study at MSU Shah Alam. But I was only a medical science student despite of the MBBS student because I realized that I can't afford to make it either mentally or financially.
From here, my life start to change one by one. I was tried hard to live alone, outside and without anyone that I ever knew, meeting lots of new friends where I can't even imagine how close they will be with me, slowly I tried to throw away my ego and anger. It was hard at first, how I always come back home late at night either by staying at library or hanging out at any cafe for coffee or food hunting just to avoid my housemates from getting them seeing me with troubles, keeping my tears rolled down my cheeks almost every night, and regretting for everything that I've done.
Throughout the first year, I had faced many things that I can't even imagine. Doing lots of crazy things together (not alone like usual), start to accept everyone in my life, and start to enter other's life too. Wow, this is just not like my usual-self. Karaoke almost every month, not bother with the assignment, stay up at KL after mentoring sesh (still remember how i got my first 'saman' near the Dataran Merdeka), all those truth or dare games, and other mentoring activities like the bowling and escape room challenge. So glad that Madam Zuhaira was the best mentor ever. No doubt, she was like our mother and she was so caring. That's why we love her the most even we are more likely to annoyed her, lelwz :p
Semester 2 was my horrible semester ever. Moving out to a new house, where here again I need to get know to the new people. How I'm dealing with my roommate's breakup. How I was badly have a fever during the examination. How depressed am I when almost every time, my dad always ask me to find another course where he could afford it till the last. How sad am I when I have no one to share my story with like before, where I start to realized the reality that I was battling alone. And how frustrated am I when knowing someone that I know was making a story about me, adding up those nonsense gossip where I don't even know where did i do wrong with them. How miserable my day, everyday when I tried to make nothing was happened, like I am the happiest and noisiest girl ever that everyone known. Glad, that I still could make it where I've got the dean's. Alhamdulillah.
Final phase of my first year was the busiest phase ever. This is when we start to enjoy every program and every single activities in our list. That "our" was referring to my favorite squad ever - Puaka. Hahaha I know how nonsense the name was but that showing how "puaka" was everyone. Every single person was very annoying to the maximum, yet I can't imagine how my life as degree student would be if I wouldn't know them. THEY TRULY MAKE MY DAY HAPPIER EVEN WITH THEIR POISONOUS WORDS. How i want to cherish everything that happened - starting from the aerodance competition where we start to love dancing, zumba, handling the Riang Ria Raya event together, camping together at Hulu Langat, that kind of feeling when you've got to feel the moments of camping (barbeque, swim in the river, jungle trekking, gossiping all day) with your favorite people. How we climb and take over Broga Hill during the Independence Day, cycling together at Cerakah, spending time together before our final paper (movie, karaoke, bowling and even playing arcade). All that were the best feeling ever, and I couldn't express more using words. They managed to get me out of my world, world that full of regret and sadness, world that I don't even want to live in.
That's when I realized that my life was completely changed.
Another one thing for sure, that the heartbreak girl had fallen for another.
And that's when she she start to see her life differently from before and try to be a better person.